Rather Than Resolve, Let’s Take a Fresh Start
New Year has historically been one of my favorite holidays. Over the years, it has evolved from dressing up and spending a night out to being in bed before the ball drops (happily so). New beginnings offer an opportune moment to reflect, dream, and plan for action. Some people stick with it, but many drop off on the action part after the first three weeks of January (guilty as charged). Let's look at how we can make the New Year work for us rather than against our own resistance.
The Fresh Start Effect. A new year, month, week, birthday, or any day that ends in Y (dad joke, I know) are all examples of times when people feel more motivated to tackle habits that have been on the to-do list for quite some time. Katy Milkman, a psychologist from the University of Penn, studied the concept of fresh starts and how time influences people to feel more motivated. The theory suggests that people can see life with a panoramic view when they break out of the mundane. We're not going to wake up a different person on January 1st. However, we can capitalize on the enthusiasm of a new year to motivate change.
Practically (Im)Perfect In Every Way. Mary Poppins had it almost right. Fresh starts can be exciting and overwhelming. We can be excited for what's to come and overwhelmed at everything we "need to work on." Sustainable transformation involves focusing on enjoying the process over the perfection of outcomes. People who wake up at 5am to meditate, work out, and journal like doing those things. If that seems like a far-fetched version of a joyful start to the day, then these habits don't have to be for you, and that's more than okay! Being open to change involves flexibility of the mind. Getting caught up in perfectionism decreases satisfaction keeping us stuck in stories, patterns, and habits we've wanted to evolve.
Here are some reflection questions to get unstuck:
What matters to you? You may have goals related to health/wellness, finances, education, self-development, etc., but why do these things matter to you? Do you want to feel more energized each day, decrease anxiety about the future, or delve into personal curiosity? Understand why these goals matter.
What kind of system do you have now, and what are you willing to change? Flexibility is key. One of my favorite provocative questions is: How is that working for you? Couples may say they want a more peaceful household but can't seem to stop yelling about chores. Someone may be exploring sobriety but continue to hang out with people at the bar every Thursday night. The system needs to alter toward the desired goal. Be super specific on what you need to change. Choose one thing to adjust, take your time to practice, and notice what occurs.
What do you need to embody? Embodiment is moving cognitive information to an experiential way of being. Think of this as medicine for the mind and body. Do you need confidence, compassion, courage, or curiosity? Pick a word or phrase and imagine how you would show up when embarking on new habits or challenges.
New Yearly Yours,
Brittani
