Mood Follows Action
Mood Follows Action
Mood follows action. It’s not a secret that people typically feel better after doing hard things. Working out, writing a blog, or figuring out a work problem can induce stress, yet we feel so good when they’re completed. Psychologically doing hard things reinforces beliefs that we are capable. This is why we get inspired by people like David Goggins, Amelia Boone, or Tom Brady. Strength is built into the struggles we say yes to. While I’m not suggesting we sign up for a hundred mile run, or hike the Appalachian Trail for six months, I am suggesting that we can support mental health by choosing the next hard thing.
Why Doing Hard Things Matter
We all have a story of ourselves about who we are, where we’ve come from, and who we want to be. Exploring the past encourages understanding of behavior patterns. A belief is acceptance that a statement is true. Our beliefs shape our actions. We need to understand how beliefs have shaped our self concept, and where we get stuck in the present process. The various narratives of our past charge an inner debate that can feel like a battle without resolve. Dichotomous beliefs can look like:
“I know I’m worthy, but I don’t believe I’m good enough.”
“I know I’m capable, but can’t seem to get there.”
“I can see how far I’ve come, and still feel so complacent.”
“I’ve never been good at these things, but I want to keep trying.”
So how do we get unstuck? Get compassionately curious about yourself.
Actions and Curiosity. Curiosity is key to understanding emotions that generate actions. Procrastination is not always linked to the task you’re avoiding, rather it is the emotional experience associated with the task. If you dread doing dishes, chances are you avoid dread more than the dishes. Getting familiar with emotions provides an edge increasing likelihood of desired results.
Mental Strategies For Building Actions.
Associations. Creating new associations with daunting tasks help us have fun in the process to reach a desired outcome. For example, putting on music to do the dishes may be a way to associate pleasure with a chore. Intentionally create your own silver linings. You can sit in traffic hating the experience, or you can give yourself the gift of daydreaming in stillness. There are many ways to enhance all of life’s mundane experiences.
Know Thyself. What are the thoughts you tend to repeat to yourself? Do you often say, “I’m so tired,” or “I just can’t adult today.” Thoughts are like software systems that are bodies run on. When we can catch thinking in the act, we can understand that this thought does not need to be followed by action. We can observe the thought, and ask yourself, “Who is the person I want to become?” Take the actions that align with the person you want to be.
Values. What matters to you? Get extremely clear in what matters to you. Take relationships for example. Oftentimes couples will get into similar arguments over and over again. If what they want is to be “right” and have their partner agree with them, it may be an ever losing battle. What really matters is being heard, understood, and seen. Examine the impulses to continue in the same cycle, whether it’s sleeping in until noon or having the same argument time and time again, are typically in misalignment with what matters to us. Click here for more on values exercises.
Enjoy the Process. You know how great it feels to do something hard. We hear about the people who wake up at 5am, workout, meditate, and take cold showers. These activities are inherently challenging, but people who embrace the challenge enjoy the process. None of the aforementioned activities may be for you, but there are plenty of accessible difficult things to do each day. Maybe it’s get up 15 minutes earlier, show kindness toward the miserable person in the office, or not cursing at the car in front of you when you’re stuck in traffic. These string of moments add up to a lifetime. Each one counts.
