The Midst of Uncertainty
The only thing certain in life is uncertainty. Yes, all eye rolls and sighs are welcome in response to this statement. Currently peering into an economic recession, prices of essentials steadily rising, the pandemic lingers in the background, climate change with a noticeable heatwave, and let’s throw in politics just for good measure. All of these factors are outside of our direct control inducing collective anxiety. Collective anxiety is defined as despair and hopelessness experienced by a large mass of people. Our innate ability to empathize with one another is a contributing factor to this emotional phenomena. While uncertainty may induce a plethora of unwanted emotions, it is also a persistent aspect we can only tend with.
Control and Uncertainty. We can’t talk about uncertainty without talking about control. Control and uncertainty are like the peanut butter and jelly of human conditions: Looks great, we think it’s nutritious, but is it really? Coping strategies can appear both adaptive and maladaptive. We can use adaptive behaviors such as cleaning, exercising, sleeping, working a bit more, and counting calories as ways to manage our anxiety in the face of anticipated turmoil. Maladaptive coping strategies may seem a bit more transparent as they may include drinking/using substances, restrictive eating, binge eating, not sleeping, oversleeping, or anything that noticeably impedes wellness. Beyond behaviors, there are questions to be reckoned with to gain a deeper understanding of ourselves:
1. What emotions are you experiencing that you might find hard to deal with?
2. What do you feel control will do for you?
3. Notice how obsessive thoughts, rumination, influence how you interact with yourself and those around you.
Befriending Discomfort. Anxiety, despair, worry, and hopelessness can all swirl around the uncertainty drain waiting to be flushed. The problem is when we avoid reckoning with these emotions, they can exacerbate making a bigger mess regardless how many tactics we use to clean it up. Holding space for emotions is the antithesis of persistent uncomfortable emotions. Here’s how this looks:
Sit with yourself. Notice how each emotion appears in the body. Does the heart race? Do you feel the pit in your stomach? Trying to catch thoughts racing around your mind like the Indy 500? Watch the entire experience like you would a movie. Make space from you and name these states.
Give yourself a mental hug. If you notice trying to fight it, notice that as well. Using the phrase, “May you be at ease,” can help guide yourself to a sense of grounding.
Notice the wave of discomfort wash away and embrace this feeling. If it starts to brew again, keep with it. Emotions are not permanent. If you allow yourself to feel these states, it does not mean that you’ll forever stay this way. Actually, quite the opposite effect occurs. Avoiding discomfort is like saying “Don’t think of a white elephant.” What do you think of? Habitually doing this with emotions leads to chronic discomfort that gives us a metaphorical and literal headache (or any other pain that has us calling our chiropractor).
Give space for your emotions equates to allowing yourself being seen and heard. Listen to you, all parts of you, all emotions of you. You’re worth it.
